just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
where are my eyebrows?
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