How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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