I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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