I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
