I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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