he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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