Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
