My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
