you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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