is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize