Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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