He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
