Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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