Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
