ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
