Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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