When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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