Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
