Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
