Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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