P.S. I can't hear my feet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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