I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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