we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
