Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
