Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
