...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sext me about skeletons
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
