I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
