Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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