I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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