There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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