Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
