I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
