I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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