They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
