Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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