Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
