2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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