Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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