ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
