real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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