it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
