I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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