conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
