even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
try to milk me bitch
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