I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
