mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
