I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
