3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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