i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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