He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
