im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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