i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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