There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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