Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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