whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
