Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
