i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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