If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dick very happy bro
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
