i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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