Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
