my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
