ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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