I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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